I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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