I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
