living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We left an ass print on the piano.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
