I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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