My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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