dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize