i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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