im holly from the hills drunk
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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