I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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