i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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