you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
