I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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