i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize