And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
