it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
