You're completely useless in the revolution.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
