dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
