Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
