You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
