My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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