lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
