i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
