Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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