People in love make me want to vomit
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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