What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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