I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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