remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You're like the curious george of whores
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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