I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize