38 yer olds are good kisserssss
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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