NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
