I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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