based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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