its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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