I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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