Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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