I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
