Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
