haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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