Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
