I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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