AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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