no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What did we do last night that was yellow?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
