its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
