No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
