I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
