I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
