Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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