I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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