You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Drake has all the answers
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
