didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
