If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
