i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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