I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Acid is not a monday night drug
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize