can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I CAN MOONWALK!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
