Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
