FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
