do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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