oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
