Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
